Sacré Bleu!

I have a love/hate relationship with the moldy cheeses... when Brick's melts blue cheese onto their escargot, or Luciano's adds gorgonzola to pretty much anything, I love it.  But other times, like on a black and blue burger, the smell just hits me wrong.  Really, I'm just a little weird.

Now when it comes to chicken wings and blue cheese, it's all about the love.  

For a long time, and for no concrete reason at all, I would only buy blue cheese dressing.   There was no way I could make it, right?  Because, after all those years of culinary training, I wouldn't have any idea how to build a simple salad dressing from scratch!  

Yeah, sometimes I'm slow.  

Over this last weekend, I decided that the most perfect chicken wings ever really did deserve a dressing/dipping sauce made from scratch.  So, I made one up. 

It's only 12 ingredients!  (The honey snuck out of the picture, little scamp; I'm starting to think my honey is shy)

You'll need fresh chives and fresh Italian parsley, garlic, one lemon, one of the small containers of blue cheese crumbles (or a solid chunk and you can break it up yourself), mayonnaise, sour cream, dijon mustard, a little creamy horseradish, and salt (kosher or sea salt) and pepper.  

Variation:  You can also use plain Greek yogurt instead of mayonnaise for a lighter version.  I prefer FAGE but use what YOU like.  Just be prepared to add a little bit of cider vinegar and extra salt (teeny amounts) if the flavor of the dressing seems a little flat. Of course, if you are dairy free, stick to mayo!

Start by mincing up two cloves of garlic.  

Thinly slice some chives (approx 2 tablespoons).

Finely chop some Italian parsley (approx 1 tablespoon).

I really only use the flat leaf/ Italian parsley.  I know people say that curly and flat leafed parsley taste exactly the same.  I have to disagree.  It seems no matter how finely I chop those curly little leaves, they still seem to have a tougher and sharper consistency than flat-leaf.  And I don't think they taste the same - they don't SMELL the same, how can the flavor be identical?  Of course, if you prefer the curly stuff, or it you can't get flat-leaf, that's totally fine.  It's personal preference.  I'm not going to show up at your door and throw a hissy fit for using the wrong varietal of an herb.

Zest a lemon (1 lemon = approximately 1 tablespoon of zest).

Add the blue cheese.  I used a 5 oz container.  Break up the cheese with a fork and mix well with the herbs, lemon zest, and garlic.

Juice a lemon and add approximately 2 tablespoons of lemon juice (no seeds please!).

Add 1 cup each of mayonnaise and sour cream.  Add 1 tablespoon of dijon mustard, 1 tablespoon of honey, and 1 tablespoon of creamy horseradish.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  The cheese makes this prone to saltiness; add salt sparingly and taste often.  Pepper, however, is just dandy - add as much as you can stand!

 I know it's hard to see in the picture (eventually, I'll need to upgrade my camera), but it's actually quite pretty.  There's all sorts of little confetti bits in yellow and green, and of course the moldy cheese adds some color as well.

Store in an air-tight container in the fridge.  Serve it on salad or with crudite, or serve it like this:

Given the acid from the lemon juice, even if you used home-made mayonnaise this should last for at least a week in the fridge, if not a little longer.

The handy dandy printable version of this recipe is in my Recipe Box, over on Tasty Kitchen!

Squaaaawwk

Growing up, my brother and I used to make jokes about sprouting feathers, because we ate so much chicken.  In summer, it was barbecued, in winter it was roasted, and anytime at all it could be fried or souped.   It makes sense - my mom loves all things chicken, almost as much as she likes bacon, and chicken was an inexpensive option, especially when you add in multiple kids, friends, and extended family. 

I'm thankful she passed on the love of our feathered friends to me; I love chicken.  Red Beard, however, isn't thankful at all because he thinks chicken is boring, but don't worry; I'm doing great on my campaign to change his mind.  In fact, this last weekend, I think I may have made some amazing headway on that!

For Super Bowl Sunday, I made some lovely, spicy chicken wings - braised down, not fried - in a thick, gooey barbecue-style sauce that would be great on anything from pulled pork to short ribs.  Be warned - while these wings and this sauce aren't in-your-face fiery, they do have a mellow, building heat that will open your sinuses for days.  

Don't panic when you see the array of spices in the rub - I know, it seems like a lot, and a large variety.  It may also seem expensive.  I promise, with some smart shopping, it isn't.  I am in love with these little envelopes, always available at Winco and to a lesser degree at Savemart:

 

Handy Dandy!

 

World Market also has an amazing variety of spices, in the same type of packaging.  Wherever you find them, they range from approximately 68¢ up to just under $2, and they last forever; they've got enough in each envelope to use again and again.  So far, from one packet of cumin, I've made a triple batch of chili (hunting season), these wings, and I've got more than half left.  You've got the option of investing in refillable $1.99 jars while you're at World Market, or just keep your spice envelopes in a plastic container in your pantry (I have a plastic container with an attached lid, that's supposed to be for recipe cards). 

On a side note, I love World Market.  LOVE.  The food section, the wine section, the kitchen toys, the dishes ... then there's that bathroom stuff and the wrapping paper, and the decorator items.  And the Christmas stuff!  So much fun.  It's like a less expensive version of Pier One Imports (my second love, but mostly I'm only allowed to window shop).  Anyway; back to the food...

Preheat the oven to 400º F.

I bought the frozen "party wings" chicken wing pieces but you can get whatever you prefer, just aim for 2 to 3 pounds.  I would recommend using pieces vs. whole wings, and reserve the wing tips (which hardly have any meat anyway) to use later for chicken stock.  You are all making your own chicken stock from scratch, right?  Hee hee hee.

Rinse the chicken under cold water and pat dry (I pretty much always rinse off meat).  

Chicken.  So nasty raw; so yummy cooked.

Then wash your hands.  This is going to be a theme today because it's raw chicken, chock a bock full of nasty germs that you really don't want to spread around.

Start assembling your spices.  There's 10 altogether, and the list is not in the order they're shown in the picture because I just can't tell the difference between all the funny greeny-brown ones from a picture, without being able to sniff them:

Not as expensive as it looks.

• 1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper
• 1 tsp Cinnamon
• 1 tsp Granulated Garlic
• 1 tsp Paprika
• 1/2 Tbl dried Oregano
• 1/2 Tbl Cumin
• 1/2 Tbl Coriander
• 1 Tbl Chili Powder (I used a mild Spanish variety)
• 1 Tbl Salt (Kosher or Sea salt please, none of that iodized stuff that tastes funny)
• 1 Tbl Black Pepper (recipes like this is why I keep the pre-ground pepper on hand)

Whisk them together with a fork (or a whisk, but I didn't feel like pulling one out).  Mix well.

I like the colors.

Add your spices to your chicken bits (just put your chicken in a bowl first vs the colander you rinsed it in, or it's going to get messy..)

Starting to get un-boring...

Start tossing everything about!  And if you're one of those people who's squeamish about handling raw meat - so sorry, but you're going to have to get your hands dirty.  Get in there and work the spices into the chicken, pressing the rub into the meat.

Now go wash your hands again.

Assemble a baking rack inside a sheet pan, and spray the entire thing with Pam non-stick cooking spray.  This is less about the chicken sticking to the rack, and more about having to scrub spicy bits off of the pan later.  Pam cuts down on my scrubbing dishes time, so I love it.  

We hate to scrub!  We hate to scrub!

Arrange the chicken pieces on the rack and bake for 15 to 20 minutes.  Or, if you're like me and you forgot to defrost your chicken wings and they are still a teeny bit frozen in the middle, bake them for 30 to 45 minutes.  Wash your hands before you touch the oven handle. 

Ready for the oven!

While those are roasting away, it's time to talk sauce.  These wings would probably be fine just rubbed and roasted, but the we aren't going for fine.  We're going for fantastical and amazing.  

Yes, I know my orange & lemon are naked.  I've got to use them up somewhere.

You'll need some of your spices again - the chili powder, cinnamon, and salt and pepper; plus some chili flakes.  In addition, we're adding orange and lemon juices, onions and garlic, Worcestershire sauce, maple syrup, and Tobasco to kick a bottled barbecue sauce into high gear.  I don't know why there's honey in the picture; little bastard must have sneaked out of the cupboard when I wasn't looking.  Bad honey!  No cookie!

Mince and saute 4 garlic cloves and about 1/3 of an onion.  When it's just starting to brown, add a 1/2 teaspoon of red pepper flakes and let them start to bloom and release their heat.

Add a cup of whatever barbecue sauce you like.  I am in love with the spicier varieties of Sweet Baby Ray's, but really, use what you've got.  You're going to be adding so much other yummy stuff that the barbecue sauce is really just a background note and it adds much needed volume. 

Add a cup of orange juice, 1/4 cup of lemon juice, as much Tobasco as you think you'll like (I used one teaspoon), a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, and a 1/4 cup of maple syrup (real, bled-from-a-tree maple syrup, not the "pancake syrup" that is just cooked-down sugar). 

Stir to combine and begin adding your spices - 1 teaspoon of chili powder, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, and a 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and ground black pepper.  Stir to combine.  Let the sauce reduce on medium low heat for 10 minutes - you'll notice it starts to get nice and thick and syrupy; just stir it often to keep it from burning.  

Check on your wings.  They should be roasting nicely and starting to drip onto their pan.  

When your wings are roasted, arrange them in (mostly) a single layer in a baking dish.  Again, spray the dish with Pam!  No one wants to scrub off the sauce mess later.

Sorry, I'm out of caption ideas right now. 

Pour all of that lovely sauce you made down over your wings.  

And they're off for a swim!

Now, if you're freezing this dish, or taking it across town to your mom's house for Super Bowl (or wherever), stop here.  Cover them with foil and you're done until you're about 30 minutes away from serving them.  If you're freezing, just be sure to double wrap, and then defrost completely before baking.

Sigh.  It's just so gorgeous.

When you decide you're ready to eat them, pop them into a 400º F oven for about 30 to 45 minutes.  The sauce will start to bubble, the wings will cook until the meat is almost falling off the bone, and all the flavors will get married and live happily ever after.

So hot.  So spicy.  So fantastical.

Serve them with Blue Cheese dressing (check out the post Sacre Bleu for the dressing details).  Or serve them by themselves.  Or hoard them all for yourself and don't serve them at all and forget everything you ever learned about sharing.

Get the handy printable version of this recipe over at Tasty Kitchen!

Super Bowl is a Handy Excuse ...

... to eat cheese and assorted goodies all day and not feel at all guilty about it.  Okay, okay, so there happens to be a football game on.  Whatever.  I could pretend to actually care who wins but anyone who's been around me for five minutes will tell you that I don't really have a sports brain.  I can watch sports, and enjoy sports (especially LIVE sports, who doesn't like going to live games? Especially hockey games, go Sharks!), and understand sporting events (mostly), but would I choose to watch sports over, say, Chopped, or Firefly reruns, or Criminal Minds, or my complete set of Deadwood DVDs?  Ummm, NO.  

Though, given that I do adore Goober Eli Manning and Tom Brady (now that he cut his damn hair), it could be that I didn't care because I couldn't pick a team to cheer for...

My mom and I kept if fairly simple this year.  As in, we only spent half the game making and serving snacks, and we actually got to sit down and watch the game. 

Recipes for all of this will follow in the next few days.  I'd like brownie points please for taking the time to figure out measurements for everything, instead of just chucking in seasonings willy-nilly and telling you to add "some". 

We started with Spicy Smoky Roll-Ups, because they involve cheese.  This one has no measurements at all, so you can have directions in a minute, down below.  

Hot cheesy beef & bread, with barely 10 minutes of prep.  Does it get any better?

Then we had mom's guacamole and my faux pico de gallo (it's faux because I use more veggies than the traditional "proper" version).  I didn't have a chance to take a picture of the guacamole; the guys inhaled it too quickly. 

 

Look at all the pretty colors!

Finally, we stuffed Red Beard and my dad with super spicy braised chicken wings and blue cheese dipping sauce.   

Spicy.  Sweet.  Cheesy.  Creamy. 

Of course, all of this was supplemented with beer.  

As you might expect, we weren't very hungry when it came time for dinner, once the game was over.  And our mouths were burning a bit, thanks to the wings and all the pepperjack and the spicy mustard.  We like spicy.  We like spicy a LOT. 

 

As time goes on, you may be alarmed by how much Sriracha I add to things.  Really, don't be.  I haven't killed anyone yet, and in a lot of cases, even when you don't use enough to actually make something hot, it just adds that little "something" that makes food that much better.

In the meantime, we had to run interference between the food and this spoiled pup:

In case you're wondering, he's got his bunny in his mouth.  He loves Bunny.

This is my parents' hunting dog.  The one that the Wonder Kitten has bullied into submission.  His therapy sessions are going great!  There's really no relaxing fully when there's food out and a pup loose; not unless you like your roll-ups with the mustard licked off. 

*************************************************************************

For those of you who've never made them before, here's a quick tutorial on Spicy Smoky Roll-Ups:

Start with a pack of Lit'l Smokies.  They come in turkey or chicken with apple flavors, but in our family, we like either the traditional "plain" ones (that say "made with quality pork, turkey, and beef" on the label) or the all-beef ones.  Sure, I suppose you could use regular hot dogs or sausages and simply cut them to size, but that's no fun.

In addition, you'll need pepperjack cheese, a couple of different types of mustard, and a tube of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (or any brand of croissant dough in a can).  In fact, I think there's a version of this recipe, in video format, on the Pillsbury website.  

It's easy peasy!  Flatten out the dough in the individual triangles and cut each triangle in half lengthwise.  Lay a mini sausage and a couple of cheesy chunks at the fat end of the triangle.  Then roll them up!  

Lay everything out on a baking sheet.  Either use pan spray or line the sheet with foil, because if the cheese ooozes out during cooking (and it will), scrubbing burned-on cheese off of a sheet pan sucks.   Bake the roll-ups at 400º F until the cheese is gooey and the bread is a pretty color.  We squished together two kinds of mustard, a dijon and a sweet/hot Asian mustard, and called it a dipping sauce (such a complex procedure, I know).  

Breakfast, It's What's for Dinner

Ahhh breakfst.  I've been a fan of breakfast foods at dinnertime and any other time since I was a little kid.  There was just something so fun about all that sugar being allowed at dinnertime.  But then, I seem to remember my mom allowing pie at breakfast (it's a fruit group!), so it could be our family is just a little odd ...

What is it about pancakes?  Nothing beats a good pancake.  Red Beard is just as addicted as I am, though we do differ on a few of the specifics.  For example, I like real, natural, from-a-tree maple syrup; he likes that sugary fake "pancake syrup" that never has to see the inside of a fridge and will out live a cockroach (really, it's just cooked down sugar with some caramel coloring and "maple" flavor thrown in).  I like my eggs poached or sunny-side-up (ie, runny yolked) while he likes his dead as a doornail, with brown bits and crispy edges (bleh!).  And, I adore blueberries and cinnamon and orange zest (fancy pancakes), whereas he is likes his so plain Jane that I'm lucky I can sneak vanilla in there.  

For the sake of family harmony, I just split the batter and make two kinds.  Partially because I like to get my way; partly because I spoil Red Beard as often as humanly possible (it's okay, he totally gets me back).

In addition to pancakes, I also love Bisquick, because it saves me from having to measure very much stuff.  

I also love any dinner with a fairly short ingredient list, where I pretty much have everything already on hand.

Bisquick, Baking Powder, Salt & Pepper (for the eggs), Butter (Duh), Cinnamon, Orange, Vanilla, Blueberries, Milk, Eggs, & Bacon (Yay!)

First, because I always forget this step, preheat your oven to 250º.  

Usually, I'd mix all of the dry ingredients (including the cinnamon) all at once, but since I had to split the batter later, I started with the dry ingredients that were in both batters first:

Dry Ingredients

Start with 2 Cups of Bisquick, 1 Tablespoon of Sugar, a pinch of Salt, and 2 Teaspoons of Baking Powder.  Whisk them together to combine them (besides, Bisquick is lumpy stuff, you need to break it up). 

Add the Wet Stuff

Then add 2 (large) Eggs, 1 Teaspoon of Vanilla Extract (please, for the love of flavor, buy the REAL vanilla that you have to store in the fridge and not "vanilla"), and 1 Cup of Milk.  

Why hello there!

Then, beat it into submission whisk away!  I know they say pancake batter can have lumps, but lumps send my OCD into overdrive.  So sue me.  That's why I like to whisk vs. stir.  You'll have a few teeny weeny baby lumps, but that can't be helped.  

If you don't like fruit and etc, stop here and skip ahead to where I melt butter in a non-stick pan.  Red Beard wants me to stop here.  

Because it's fun to make dishes dirty ...

But because I'm me, I split the batter into 2 batches - the large amount for his plain Jane pancakes, and the smaller amount for me to mess with.

Pretty pretty pretty.

Zest an orange (it probably equals about a tablespoon...approximately).

Sprinkle Away!

Add some cinnamon (start with a teaspoon, more if you really like it).

How to Stay Sane, Lesson 1.

Add a tablespoon of orange juice.  And while you're at it, mix yourself a Screwdriver.  They're especially nice with vanilla vodka.  Or regular vodka, plus a splash of vanilla extract.  There's no picture of me putting orange juice into the batter, because I was preoccupied by cocktail time.  Oops.  Yes, I realize I could have just juiced the orange that I just zested, but I already had an open Tropicana carton in the fridge to use up.  The naked orange will last longer - I can make cocktails with that tomorrow!

Time to cook!

I don't have a griddle pan.  Pancakes work best on a griddle pan.  But I've got six non-stick frying pans, so that's what we're using.  I set the stove to just under medium heat.  When the pan's hot, add butter.  Side note:  I only buy unsalted butter.  You can get it everywhere (including Wally and stinky but wonderfully cheap Winco).  Even in baking.  If I forget to say it later, any recipe I make uses unsalted butter.

Unsalted only, please.

Here is where I take a moment to thank the Pioneer Woman for showing me this trick with the butter - forget tossing chunks into a hot pan, just peel half the paper and swipe your pan with it.  If you don't like the butter as it starts to brown, or don't like butter (please say you love butter, how can butter inspire hated?), use pan spray.  

I'm not going to show cooking both types of pancake, that would be silly.  We're skipping straight ahead to the glorious-ness of the blueberry-orangey-cinnamony ones.  

Check out the teeny lumps.  OCD moment in 3... 2... 1...

Pour circles (or spoon circles, or whatever) into your pan.  I wouldn't recommend huge, plate-sized pancakes because the weight of the blueberries (see below) already makes them more awkward to flip than regular pancakes.  Plus, the berries add fibery goodness (so they are more filling) and all that yummy orange and cinnamon (and the vanilla) makes them kind of rich - smaller is better.   

See, brown butter.  I promise, it tastes fine.

Sprinkle fresh blueberries over the top.  Press them (gently) down into the batter.  Cook them until they are golden on the bottom.  How to tell if your pancake is ready to flip?  It will be loose from the pan.  Undercooked batter = sticky mess.  If your spatula slides underneath easily, while it may not be as golden as you'd like, it will be cooked.  Seriously, could I get a manicure already? Or at least make friends with an emery board?  Please disregard my lack of grooming.

I know, you can't see the fruit.  It's on the bottom, remember?

Flip! Again, flip carefully.

Repeat this step until you've cooked them all. 

As the pancakes get done, set them on an oven-proof dish in your (preheated) oven.  Feel free to stack.  You don't even need to cover them.  They turn out just fine, and they're toasty and hot when you're ready to serve them.  On regular plain pancakes, I usually add a little butter between them as I stack.  These, though, are rich enough, so I don't even bother to butter them before eating them.  

How to Stay Sane, Lesson 2.

In the meantime, while you're mixing, and whisking, and measuring, and flipping, you really ought to have a 2nd pan going of thick-cut peppered bacon.    Because bacon goes with everything!  And of course, when you're having breakfast for dinner, bacon is even more important.  AND, Red Beard would revolt if I served his eggs and pancakes sans bacon.  You do not want to get between him and his pork products!

Peppered thick-cut bacon is my favorite.  Of course, you could cook whatever you prefer, but when paired with the fruit and sweet in the pancakes, the pepper helps to balance everything so that you don't end up with a cavity. 

This whole time, I had this playing at my feet:

How to Stay Sane, Lesson 3. Please take note of the hair tie that he's snuggling with.

We've been lucky so far - Wonder Kitten has yet to discover the kitchen counter tops.  I don't have to hide the butter.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I also made eggs; because what would pancakes be without eggs to squish between them?  Eggs are awesome.  A little salt, a little pepper ... 

Don't blame me for the broken yolks - Red Beard insists on it.

I don't have a picture of my perfect, sunnyside up, runny yolked egg.  I forgot.  At that point, I was getting hungry.

Oooooooh, yum!

The mellow blueberry flavor, with the subtle bursts of orangey, cinnamony goodness, plus that flavor that only real maple syrup has, is fantastic.  Inside, they are cakey and fluffy and the blueberries are just barely barely cooked.  Squish an egg between them, and add some peppery bacon to the plate, and it's heavenly.  

Have I made you hungry yet?

PS.  I promise, my grout/counters are cleaner than they may appear in the pictures.  But in 73 years (the tile is original to the house), stains and discoloration tends to happen.  My kitchen may have some stains, but it's also scrubbed regularly and I go through bleach spray even more quickly than I go through butter, bacon, vodka, and cheese.  

PPS.  You can also find a printable version of this recipe over on Tasty Kitchen, with measurements and everything