Squaaaawwk

Growing up, my brother and I used to make jokes about sprouting feathers, because we ate so much chicken.  In summer, it was barbecued, in winter it was roasted, and anytime at all it could be fried or souped.   It makes sense - my mom loves all things chicken, almost as much as she likes bacon, and chicken was an inexpensive option, especially when you add in multiple kids, friends, and extended family. 

I'm thankful she passed on the love of our feathered friends to me; I love chicken.  Red Beard, however, isn't thankful at all because he thinks chicken is boring, but don't worry; I'm doing great on my campaign to change his mind.  In fact, this last weekend, I think I may have made some amazing headway on that!

For Super Bowl Sunday, I made some lovely, spicy chicken wings - braised down, not fried - in a thick, gooey barbecue-style sauce that would be great on anything from pulled pork to short ribs.  Be warned - while these wings and this sauce aren't in-your-face fiery, they do have a mellow, building heat that will open your sinuses for days.  

Don't panic when you see the array of spices in the rub - I know, it seems like a lot, and a large variety.  It may also seem expensive.  I promise, with some smart shopping, it isn't.  I am in love with these little envelopes, always available at Winco and to a lesser degree at Savemart:

 

Handy Dandy!

 

World Market also has an amazing variety of spices, in the same type of packaging.  Wherever you find them, they range from approximately 68¢ up to just under $2, and they last forever; they've got enough in each envelope to use again and again.  So far, from one packet of cumin, I've made a triple batch of chili (hunting season), these wings, and I've got more than half left.  You've got the option of investing in refillable $1.99 jars while you're at World Market, or just keep your spice envelopes in a plastic container in your pantry (I have a plastic container with an attached lid, that's supposed to be for recipe cards). 

On a side note, I love World Market.  LOVE.  The food section, the wine section, the kitchen toys, the dishes ... then there's that bathroom stuff and the wrapping paper, and the decorator items.  And the Christmas stuff!  So much fun.  It's like a less expensive version of Pier One Imports (my second love, but mostly I'm only allowed to window shop).  Anyway; back to the food...

Preheat the oven to 400º F.

I bought the frozen "party wings" chicken wing pieces but you can get whatever you prefer, just aim for 2 to 3 pounds.  I would recommend using pieces vs. whole wings, and reserve the wing tips (which hardly have any meat anyway) to use later for chicken stock.  You are all making your own chicken stock from scratch, right?  Hee hee hee.

Rinse the chicken under cold water and pat dry (I pretty much always rinse off meat).  

Chicken.  So nasty raw; so yummy cooked.

Then wash your hands.  This is going to be a theme today because it's raw chicken, chock a bock full of nasty germs that you really don't want to spread around.

Start assembling your spices.  There's 10 altogether, and the list is not in the order they're shown in the picture because I just can't tell the difference between all the funny greeny-brown ones from a picture, without being able to sniff them:

Not as expensive as it looks.

• 1/2 tsp Cayenne Pepper
• 1 tsp Cinnamon
• 1 tsp Granulated Garlic
• 1 tsp Paprika
• 1/2 Tbl dried Oregano
• 1/2 Tbl Cumin
• 1/2 Tbl Coriander
• 1 Tbl Chili Powder (I used a mild Spanish variety)
• 1 Tbl Salt (Kosher or Sea salt please, none of that iodized stuff that tastes funny)
• 1 Tbl Black Pepper (recipes like this is why I keep the pre-ground pepper on hand)

Whisk them together with a fork (or a whisk, but I didn't feel like pulling one out).  Mix well.

I like the colors.

Add your spices to your chicken bits (just put your chicken in a bowl first vs the colander you rinsed it in, or it's going to get messy..)

Starting to get un-boring...

Start tossing everything about!  And if you're one of those people who's squeamish about handling raw meat - so sorry, but you're going to have to get your hands dirty.  Get in there and work the spices into the chicken, pressing the rub into the meat.

Now go wash your hands again.

Assemble a baking rack inside a sheet pan, and spray the entire thing with Pam non-stick cooking spray.  This is less about the chicken sticking to the rack, and more about having to scrub spicy bits off of the pan later.  Pam cuts down on my scrubbing dishes time, so I love it.  

We hate to scrub!  We hate to scrub!

Arrange the chicken pieces on the rack and bake for 15 to 20 minutes.  Or, if you're like me and you forgot to defrost your chicken wings and they are still a teeny bit frozen in the middle, bake them for 30 to 45 minutes.  Wash your hands before you touch the oven handle. 

Ready for the oven!

While those are roasting away, it's time to talk sauce.  These wings would probably be fine just rubbed and roasted, but the we aren't going for fine.  We're going for fantastical and amazing.  

Yes, I know my orange & lemon are naked.  I've got to use them up somewhere.

You'll need some of your spices again - the chili powder, cinnamon, and salt and pepper; plus some chili flakes.  In addition, we're adding orange and lemon juices, onions and garlic, Worcestershire sauce, maple syrup, and Tobasco to kick a bottled barbecue sauce into high gear.  I don't know why there's honey in the picture; little bastard must have sneaked out of the cupboard when I wasn't looking.  Bad honey!  No cookie!

Mince and saute 4 garlic cloves and about 1/3 of an onion.  When it's just starting to brown, add a 1/2 teaspoon of red pepper flakes and let them start to bloom and release their heat.

Add a cup of whatever barbecue sauce you like.  I am in love with the spicier varieties of Sweet Baby Ray's, but really, use what you've got.  You're going to be adding so much other yummy stuff that the barbecue sauce is really just a background note and it adds much needed volume. 

Add a cup of orange juice, 1/4 cup of lemon juice, as much Tobasco as you think you'll like (I used one teaspoon), a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce, and a 1/4 cup of maple syrup (real, bled-from-a-tree maple syrup, not the "pancake syrup" that is just cooked-down sugar). 

Stir to combine and begin adding your spices - 1 teaspoon of chili powder, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, and a 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and ground black pepper.  Stir to combine.  Let the sauce reduce on medium low heat for 10 minutes - you'll notice it starts to get nice and thick and syrupy; just stir it often to keep it from burning.  

Check on your wings.  They should be roasting nicely and starting to drip onto their pan.  

When your wings are roasted, arrange them in (mostly) a single layer in a baking dish.  Again, spray the dish with Pam!  No one wants to scrub off the sauce mess later.

Sorry, I'm out of caption ideas right now. 

Pour all of that lovely sauce you made down over your wings.  

And they're off for a swim!

Now, if you're freezing this dish, or taking it across town to your mom's house for Super Bowl (or wherever), stop here.  Cover them with foil and you're done until you're about 30 minutes away from serving them.  If you're freezing, just be sure to double wrap, and then defrost completely before baking.

Sigh.  It's just so gorgeous.

When you decide you're ready to eat them, pop them into a 400º F oven for about 30 to 45 minutes.  The sauce will start to bubble, the wings will cook until the meat is almost falling off the bone, and all the flavors will get married and live happily ever after.

So hot.  So spicy.  So fantastical.

Serve them with Blue Cheese dressing (check out the post Sacre Bleu for the dressing details).  Or serve them by themselves.  Or hoard them all for yourself and don't serve them at all and forget everything you ever learned about sharing.

Get the handy printable version of this recipe over at Tasty Kitchen!

Super Bowl is a Handy Excuse ...

... to eat cheese and assorted goodies all day and not feel at all guilty about it.  Okay, okay, so there happens to be a football game on.  Whatever.  I could pretend to actually care who wins but anyone who's been around me for five minutes will tell you that I don't really have a sports brain.  I can watch sports, and enjoy sports (especially LIVE sports, who doesn't like going to live games? Especially hockey games, go Sharks!), and understand sporting events (mostly), but would I choose to watch sports over, say, Chopped, or Firefly reruns, or Criminal Minds, or my complete set of Deadwood DVDs?  Ummm, NO.  

Though, given that I do adore Goober Eli Manning and Tom Brady (now that he cut his damn hair), it could be that I didn't care because I couldn't pick a team to cheer for...

My mom and I kept if fairly simple this year.  As in, we only spent half the game making and serving snacks, and we actually got to sit down and watch the game. 

Recipes for all of this will follow in the next few days.  I'd like brownie points please for taking the time to figure out measurements for everything, instead of just chucking in seasonings willy-nilly and telling you to add "some". 

We started with Spicy Smoky Roll-Ups, because they involve cheese.  This one has no measurements at all, so you can have directions in a minute, down below.  

Hot cheesy beef & bread, with barely 10 minutes of prep.  Does it get any better?

Then we had mom's guacamole and my faux pico de gallo (it's faux because I use more veggies than the traditional "proper" version).  I didn't have a chance to take a picture of the guacamole; the guys inhaled it too quickly. 

 

Look at all the pretty colors!

Finally, we stuffed Red Beard and my dad with super spicy braised chicken wings and blue cheese dipping sauce.   

Spicy.  Sweet.  Cheesy.  Creamy. 

Of course, all of this was supplemented with beer.  

As you might expect, we weren't very hungry when it came time for dinner, once the game was over.  And our mouths were burning a bit, thanks to the wings and all the pepperjack and the spicy mustard.  We like spicy.  We like spicy a LOT. 

 

As time goes on, you may be alarmed by how much Sriracha I add to things.  Really, don't be.  I haven't killed anyone yet, and in a lot of cases, even when you don't use enough to actually make something hot, it just adds that little "something" that makes food that much better.

In the meantime, we had to run interference between the food and this spoiled pup:

In case you're wondering, he's got his bunny in his mouth.  He loves Bunny.

This is my parents' hunting dog.  The one that the Wonder Kitten has bullied into submission.  His therapy sessions are going great!  There's really no relaxing fully when there's food out and a pup loose; not unless you like your roll-ups with the mustard licked off. 

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For those of you who've never made them before, here's a quick tutorial on Spicy Smoky Roll-Ups:

Start with a pack of Lit'l Smokies.  They come in turkey or chicken with apple flavors, but in our family, we like either the traditional "plain" ones (that say "made with quality pork, turkey, and beef" on the label) or the all-beef ones.  Sure, I suppose you could use regular hot dogs or sausages and simply cut them to size, but that's no fun.

In addition, you'll need pepperjack cheese, a couple of different types of mustard, and a tube of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls (or any brand of croissant dough in a can).  In fact, I think there's a version of this recipe, in video format, on the Pillsbury website.  

It's easy peasy!  Flatten out the dough in the individual triangles and cut each triangle in half lengthwise.  Lay a mini sausage and a couple of cheesy chunks at the fat end of the triangle.  Then roll them up!  

Lay everything out on a baking sheet.  Either use pan spray or line the sheet with foil, because if the cheese ooozes out during cooking (and it will), scrubbing burned-on cheese off of a sheet pan sucks.   Bake the roll-ups at 400º F until the cheese is gooey and the bread is a pretty color.  We squished together two kinds of mustard, a dijon and a sweet/hot Asian mustard, and called it a dipping sauce (such a complex procedure, I know).  

Definition of a Food Pusher

Food pushing is a complex and wonderful art in which a person does everything in their power to get everyone else to eat until they burst.  Not in an evil, trying-to-transform-their-friends-into-Jabba-the-Hut, let's-all-get-really-fat-sort-of-a-way; it's more in a good hostess, make everyone comfortable, have-another-cocktail way.   Common questions include:
   

• Have you eaten enough?
• Do you want to taste this?
• No really, it's great, you should taste it!
• Do you want more of anything?
• Do you want half of my burger/sandwich/steak?
• You're not driving, right, so more wine?
• Dessert, right?
• What do you mean you're too full for dessert?

It seems that there is a need and compulsion shared by the women in my family to make sure everyone around them is well-fed.   Even if it means we won't eat, or eat as much as we'd like, it's okay - so long as everyone else is busting their buttons.    Thank God the men in our family are all eaters with really awesome metabolisms. 

Granted, it helps tremendously with portion control.  It's hard to feel guilty about a bar burger at Louis Basque Corner when I know I'm giving half of it and most of my garlic fries to Red Beard.  One burger and his own order of fries doesn't fill him up.  Red Beard needs his own burgers and fries, PLUS a side salad, PLUS an order of zucchinni sticks, PLUS half of my own burger and fried before he's full.  And then only for a couple of hours before he's digging in freezer for shrimp corndogs. 

Red Beard took a little bit of time to get used to this.  When we were first dating, he was taken aback by my constant pushing.  We'd go out to dinner and I'd keep harping at him to "try this, it's really good!" and there was a constant stream of "I'm full.  Do you want this?" be it a doughnut or half a burger, or pretty much anything that wasn't going to gross him out (like my super runny eggs, squished between my pancakes; Red Beard gets a little wobbly at the sight of runny eggs).

I'm sure he thought that is was just a standard Girl Thing - pretending to be full or not hungry or that I didn't need to consume food ever.  Which I get, I know many females of all ages who like to give the impression that they exist on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe (brownie points to anyone who knows the movie!). 

Perhaps if my 501's weren't so amply filled, I could get away with that, but come on!  Of course I eat - most of the females I know eat, and eat well, and cook well, and don't care who knows it. In my case, I just can't be trusted not to force feed people; and the places Red Beard and I tend to frequent give really large portions so giving half away really didn't leave me feeling deprived.  

And I really did not care much about eating when he and I were first dating (so much so that 20+ lbs just melted right off) because I was too busy being all pink and shiny and floaty and annoying, because dating him was that much fun that I couldn't be bothered with food .. but that's a story for another time.  

It's kind of a match made in heaven:  I cook a lot, and try to force feed him like a prized goose with an oversized liver (foi gras, anyone?) and he's 6ft5 with the metabolism of a ferret.  I highly recommend to my fellow food pushers (you know who you are!) that you try to find this combination.  Because I, for one, would have little patience trying to cook regularly for a bacon-free vegan with a metabolism as slow as molasses in January like mine.  

I don't have a picture that really fits today's topic, so instead here's a picture of my poor Starbucks that closed.  Another of the few perks of our location in Horrible Sparks was this Starbucks, with the drive-through, that was on my way to work and only 5 blocks from my house.  Sniff.  I miss you! If it weren't for the Starbucks that shared a parking lot with my office, and the 456 other Starbucks locations on my drive, I'd need a xanax and probably die of caffeine deprivation.